Maggie Lee | Book 30 | The Hitwoman's Girls' Night Out Read online

  THE HITWOMAN'S GIRL' NIGHT OUT

  BOOK 30

  JB LYNN

  Copyright © Jennifer Baum THE HITWOMAN’S GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted by US copyright act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in any database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author.

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The Hitwoman’s Girls’ Night Out is intended for 18+ older and for mature audiences only.

  © 2021 Jennifer Baum

  Editor: Parisa Zolfaghari

  Cover designer: Hot Damn Designs

  Proofreader: Proof Before You Publish

  Formatting: Leiha Mann

  CONTENTS

  A note

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  The Hitwoman's Getaway

  Author’s Note

  Cursed Chicks Club

  Psychic Consignment Mystery Series

  Also by JB Lynn

  About JB Lynn

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  1

  You just know it’s going to be a bad day when Armani’s planned a girls’ night out.

  A sharp rap on my bedroom door woke me from a blissful dream where I was lying in a meadow, all by myself, soaking up the silence and staring up at the stars. My dreams are pretty much the only place where I get to be alone.

  Startled awake, I struggled to sit up and focus on the door, but I was held down by the cat pressed to the top of my head, the Doberman draped across my chest, and the pig weighing down my legs. Instead of sitting up, I felt suffocated.

  The bedroom door swung open, and Armani Vasquez burst in. “Morning, chica!”

  “Go away,” I groaned. I would have covered my eyes to emphasize my point, except my arm was trapped under DeeDee, the dog.

  “Big night, tonight,” my friend declared, ignoring my instruction to leave.

  “I was sleeping,” I told her grouchily.

  Slowly, the animals stirred, releasing me so that I could sit up and glare at my friend.

  “We were all sleeping, Sugar,” Piss, the one-eyed cat, grumbled.

  “I was not asleep,” God, the anole lizard, declared from where he balanced on a piece of driftwood. “I awoke with the dawn.”

  “Me too! Me too! Me too!” Benny, the little white mouse chimed in, racing around in circles in his little cage.

  “I hate morning creatures,” I muttered.

  “I’m hungry,” Matilda, the pig, grunted, sliding off the foot of the bed and landing with a heavy thunk on the carpet.

  “She’s always hungry,” God pointed out.

  “Hungry!” DeeDee barked excitedly.

  “Her too,” the lizard griped.

  The Doberman leapt over her porcine pal, almost knocking Armani over in the process, and raced out of the room, toward the kitchen. Matilda waddled behind.

  “Close the door,” I implored Armani. It was bad enough that she was in here, I didn’t need any other early morning visitors coming to pay their respects.

  “You’re a grouchy one,” my friend said, lowering herself onto the spot on the bed that Matilda had just vacated.

  “I was asleep,” I reminded her.

  “Late night with Gino?” she asked with a curious sparkle in her eye.

  Instead of answering her, I pulled the bed sheet over my face. “What do you want?”

  “Aren’t you excited?” It sounded like she was excited enough for the both of us.

  I flipped the sheet back off my face and asked, “About what?”

  “Our girls’ night out.”

  I was about to tell her that a girls’ night out sounded like the seventh ring of hell, but Piss stuck her claws into my shoulder. “She’s worked hard on this,” she purred quietly.

  Knowing the cat was right, I managed a half smile for Armani. “I can’t wait,” I said with false cheer, trying to be a good friend.

  She cocked her head to the side and gave me a suspicious look. I guess I hadn’t been too convincing. I was not a good friend.

  “I’ll be more enthusiastic after coffee,” I promised her.

  “Just tell me you’re not going to back out,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. She knew me too well. “Promise me, Maggie.”

  “I won’t back out,” I pledged. That was mostly because I had not come up with a good excuse to miss the outing. I’d been trying to think of one for days.

  “I’ve taken care of everything,” my friend said excitedly. “I made the plans. I bought the outfits. I arranged the transportation.”

  “Hold up,” I said, raising a hand, trying to stop her as panic tightened my chest. “What outfits?”

  “I got them for everybody,” she said, standing up. “Don’t worry, you’re going to love yours.”

  I squinted at her suspiciously. I love Armani, but I don’t always love her taste…or lack thereof.

  She limped toward the bedroom door, glancing at me over her shoulder. “It’s a big morning,” she reminded me.

  I nodded. It was. There was going to be a big change in the family compound, and not everyone was happy about it.

  “Come get some coffee.” She stepped out of the room and pulled the door shut behind her.

  “Maybe the night out won’t be that bad,” Piss said the moment she was gone.

  I glanced at the cat, who was still sharing my pillow. “Do you really believe that?”

  “I don’t,” God interjected from his enclosure. “I think it’s going to be a disaster.”

  “You think everything is going to be a disaster,” Piss countered, flexing her claws in the reptile’s direction.

  “True! True! True!” Benny agreed.

  Wanting to escape the bickering of the animals, I threw off the blankets, climbed out of bed, and struggled to get my arms into my robe, contorting myself like I was in a straightjacket.

  “What are you doing?” God asked suspiciously.

  “We should get ready for the day,” I murmured.

  “Take me,” the lizard demanded.

  I scooped him out of his enclosure and put him on my shoulder. Having not
gotten dressed yet, I wasn’t wearing a bra for him to dive into.

  Shoving my feet into slippers, I shuffled out of the room. Piss followed at my heels, and then raced down the hallway to the kitchen. The aroma of fresh brewed coffee perked me up a little.

  “Morning,” Templeton greeted, pouring me a cup as I stepped into the room.

  I smiled my gratitude at Aunt Loretta’s ex-fiancé. “Morning.”

  My Aunt Susan was busy fussing with something inside the refrigerator, mumbling under her breath.

  “Good morning,” I called to her.

  Without lifting her head up, she grunted a response. Her face was hidden by the refrigerator door, plastered with crayon drawings, but she did not sound like her normal self this morning.

  Templeton shot me a warning look and shook his head slightly. I took that to mean that she was not in the best of moods. While Templeton poured Piss a bowl of cream, I settled into a seat at the table.

  “Hungry?” Templeton asked. “It’s a big day.”

  Aunt Susan, still with her head stuck in the fridge, made a displeased noise.

  “I could eat,” I told Templeton.

  He nodded.

  Aunt Susan straightened and slammed the refrigerator door shut. I waited for her to say something, but she remained silent.

  “Aunt Maggie! Aunt Maggie!” My niece, Katie, came barreling into the kitchen at full speed. She threw herself at me, almost causing me to spill my hot coffee on her.

  Arm extended to keep the scalding liquid away from her, I winced as it sloshed over my hand. Ignoring the pain, and possible burn, I pulled her into a tight hug with my other arm. “Did you sleep well, sweetheart?”

  “I dreamt that Irma helped me with my multiplication tables.”

  I bit back a smile. Irma, the donkey in the barn stall that was beside the school room, didn’t strike me as being particularly mathematically adept. Then again, it was said that Mr. Ed, or Trigger, or maybe it was Black Beauty, could count, so what did I know?

  My niece turned her attention to the man who was pulling a pan out of the cabinet. “Can we have animal pancakes for lunch?”

  Before Templeton could answer, Aunt Susan interjected. “No.”

  “Why not?” the little girl asked.

  “Because pancakes aren’t lunch food,” Susan told her in a stilted tone.

  “But I told Dominic all about them and he wants to try them,” Katie pouted.

  “Well, then get his grandfather to make some for him,” Susan muttered, stalking out of the room.

  Katie’s lower lip quivered, and I thought that she was going to burst into tears.

  “We’ll make Dominic animal pancakes some other day,” I promised her. I looked over my niece’s shoulder at Templeton for help.

  “I don’t have any pancake mix in the house, sweetie,” he lied smoothly. “But I do have marshmallow fluff. I thought I’d make fluffernutter sandwiches for lunch for Dominic’s first day.”

  The temptation of the sugary treat was enough to make Katie smile. “He’ll like that.”

  “I hope so,” Templeton said. “Did you want some cereal?”

  “Just some bread,” she said.

  “Are you going to eat any of it?” Templeton asked. “Or are you going to give it all to the bird?”

  “Miss Lassalan says bread isn’t good for birds,” Katie said. “I’ll eat it all.”

  “Do you want it buttered?” Templeton asked. She shook her head. He quickly opened a bag and handed her two slices.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “You’re very welcome.” He patted her on the head. “I bet you want to eat outside.”

  She nodded. He opened the kitchen door and let her out.

  Once she was gone, he turned back to me. “It’s going to be a big day.”

  “It’s going to be a stressful one,” I muttered.

  “And the night will only be worse,” God said from my shoulder.

  2

  I’d just finished devouring the sausage roll that Templeton had made when Doc, my sister Marlene’s almost-husband, strolled into the kitchen.

  “Good morning,” he said with a wide smile.

  My mouth was full, so I just nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

  “Breakfast?” Templeton asked the new arrival.

  “Please.” Doc settled into the seat opposite me. “Looking forward to tonight?”

  I shook my head.

  He chuckled. “I’m sure you’ll have more fun than you’re anticipating.” He squinted at the lizard perched on my shoulder. “Is he going along?”

  I shrugged noncommittally.

  “Of course, I’m going along,” God railed from my shoulder. “You can’t be trusted on your own.”

  To his credit, Doc didn’t even blink at the lizard’s squeaking. “Well, I’m looking forward to babysitting duties,” Doc said with an easy smile as Templeton slid a plate of three sausage rolls in front of him.

  “As am I,” Templeton said, patting my shoulder reassuringly.

  “The girls will be in good hands,” I said. “Thank you both.” I might not be looking forward to the evening, but I knew that Templeton, who doted on Katie and her cousin, Alicia, and Doc, an EMT, would take good care of them. I got to my feet. “I’m going to go outside.”

  “In your nightclothes?” Templeton gasped with exaggerated dismay. “What will the neighbors say?”

  Knowing he was making fun of Aunt Susan, I had to chuckle. “Be careful,” I warned him. “You know she’s already in a mood.”

  “You’re the one that’s going to go out there in your robe for all the world to see,” he teased.

  “Maybe I’ll live dangerously, take off the robe, and flash the world in my flannel pajamas.” I took the piece of sausage I’d left on my plate and headed outside.

  I was halfway to the barn when I heard, “Maggie!”

  Grinning, I turned my palm upward, displaying the piece of meat. Sure enough, Mike, the crow, landed on my wrist and grabbed it.

  “You’re welcome,” I said as he flew a few feet away so that he could put it on the ground to eat it.

  His thank you was garbled as he swallowed the food.

  “We’re all clear?” I asked him.

  “No one is here that is not supposed to be,” he cawed.

  “I appreciate you keeping an eye on things for me,” I told my avian friend.

  “That’s part of why I’m here,” he said. “To protect you.” Beating his wings, he flew off to continue his patrol of the compound’s grounds.

  When I reached the barn, I found my grandfather, Herschel, sitting on a bale of hay, petting Zippy, his little white dog. Personally, I’d never bonded with this particular canine, probably because he’d once been possessed by my grandmother’s evil spirit. We’d performed an exorcism to rid him of her, but I don’t think the little guy has forgiven me for dropping him into a cauldron.

  Herschel looked tenser than I was feeling.

  “Everything okay?” I asked, wondering if he was upset about Dominic’s arrival, too. He hadn’t said much on the matter during the family vote. It was unclear how he felt about allowing the boy to attend school with the girls.

  “I’ve got a meeting with a potential partner tonight,” my grandfather revealed, stroking the little dog’s head.

  “Partner?” I didn’t know if he meant in a romantic sense or in a business sense. “Partnering for what?”

  “The animal rescue,” Herschel said.

  I frowned, confused. “But I thought Armani was going to help you on that.”

  “Armani is providing the funding,” Herschel explained. “But I still need someone to help me find the abused animals who need help.”

  “Oh.” I guess that made sense. If one were going to open an animal sanctuary, they’d need a network in order to find the animals that actually needed sanctuary.

  “I’m not looking forward to the meeting,” Herschel admitted.

  I gave him an inquiri
ng look, hoping he’d elaborate.

  “I’m just a layman,” my grandfather said self-consciously. “I’m not a professional. What do I know? How am I supposed to prove that I’d be good at this?”

  “You’ll be great at it,” I assured him.

  He grinned ruefully. “Sure, you think that because you know I can talk to them, but it’s not like I can tell this Dr. Little fella that.”

  I chuckled.

  He frowned, insulted. “It’s not funny.”

  “Sorry,” I murmured quickly. “But you’re talking animals with a guy named Dr. Dolittle?”

  Herschel grinned. “Just Little. Dr. Little.”

  “You have a common goal,” I pointed out. “You’ve got the space. Armani’s got the funds. Dr. Little would be crazy not to want to help you.”

  “I’m thinking about bringing Zippy along as my emotional support animal.”

  “You should,” I encouraged. “Surely an animal lover would understand that.”

  He nodded, then glanced worriedly in the direction of the house before whispering, “Susan’s in a tizzy.”

  “She’s not too pleased,” I agreed.

  “Well, it was put to a family vote. The boy needs an education. The girls want to share their classroom. She really doesn’t have that much of a say in the matter.”

  “You shouldn’t judge her too harshly,” I said, feeling the need to defend my aunt to her father. “She’s just trying to do what she’s always done, protect the family.”

  At that, Herschel frowned, and his eyes met mine. “But you trust this mobster?”